Carrie Underwood - Cowboy Casanova
I saw a thread about cowgirls/cowboys. Carrie Underwood's song popped in to my mind.
I wish I had listened when my husband was trying to show me the signs of having someone poisonous around me/us. Love makes you blind. My ex was a cowgirl, and I was oblivious to the obvious. My husband always suspected it, and I admittedly tuned him out when he came to me with his concerns. It was a warning, but my brain perceived it as something else. I downplayed his concerns and probably made him feel like he was losing his mind. He really picked up on it once he got to know her, and that is why things between them went down at an accelerated rate. She wanted him out of the picture and revelled in the fact that he was fed up enough to leave and contemplate divorce. She figured her work was done. That was always the goal. She was perfectly content talking to me while he was gone and being part of our lives, but the day I told her that we were back on speaking terms and willing to fight for our marriage, she just went cold. The fact that we wanted to save our marriage pissed her off. Two weeks later, I ended the relationship with her because being the only active one in a relationship was not working.
How twisted was her plan? It started years before the collapse earlier this year. She asked me years ago if we could close and that was when the plan was implemented. Everything she did was to get rid of him, and she almost succeeded. By everything, I mean everything from trampling all over his boundaries to forcing her way in as a third party in our marriage to always wanting more time (PaperGrace described my ex perfectly in the other thread) to not respecting time/schedules to always being at our home to working with him so he had to see her 8-12 hours at work and then see her after work, too. Her plan was incredibly calculated, and there were no signs because it could not be proved. For every argument, there was a counterargument on paper. For example, the work situation? Maybe she liked the benefits package the hospital offered. Another example: wanting more time? Maybe she misses you and would like to see you more. Being at our home so much? Maybe she wants to be close to the children and her family.
The sad part is she confirmed everything he tried to tell me all those years. Initially, she was unapologetic. Now? She has expressed deep regret, but I question the sincerity and why she wants to get back in to my good graces. To me, all of this was disrespectful because she did not respect our relationship, his role in my life, or even him as a person. She was smiling in his face and stabbing him in the back at the same time. His response to her confirmation, "I knew it."
As a result of all of this, I am struggling with whether or not this is someone who deserves to even be an acquaintance. Extensive history or not. I do not tolerate disrespect, and if you disrespect my hubby, you are disrespecting me. I am no rush to figure this out. I just need to work out my feelings surrounding it.