At some point, the bar had to close and MrS managed to herd my drunken grinning self to the car and get me home (at which point he calls Dude to report that made a drunken ass out of myself but he managed to get 'McDrunky-Molests-a-lot' home in one piece...and that I had a really good time.)
This cracked me up, seriously.
I've had my share of situations where I've had to be looked after... It's funny when I hear my partners commiserate over me being drunkenly belligerent or similar.
'McDrunky-Molests-a-lot' is gold.