Thread: Wide Awake
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Old 09-11-2013, 12:00 AM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: English Rose by birth; Calling the Southern Hemi home by choice.
Posts: 915

I honestly believe he tried his best to be okay with it and was for awhile. Like I commented on another thread, between my career and the other relationship, he spent a hell of a lot of time alone. My available time was divided amongst at minimum four people. Who gets married to be alone all the time? There are only so many hobbies, friends, concerts, projects, etc. that can fill that void. For him, all those hobbies did just that and they became things he was dependent upon. His hobbies were like his chosen drugs of choice. That is why he fought me so hard on changing even the slightest thing. They were ways to distract himself, numb any feelings of, pain or discomfort, and wear himself out to the point of just falling in to bed due to exhaustion. Entirely too unhealthy.

A career is something that is needed, so that can be justified. You can flex hours or cut back. A relationship? Not so much, and I think that is what he struggled with. He believed he had to respect the relationship, deal with overnights, and just bite the bullet. He probably tricked his mind in to believing that he could stifle any negative feelings, fill the time I was gone with hobbies, and be tolerant. It just stopped working.

I am hands off. I have no problem being cordial if I see her, but once someone shows me that they cannot be trusted, in the back of my mind, I will always wonder when or if they are going to do something again.

Thank you, Kevin.
Ry - Me. Panromantic demisexual with a history of polyamorist tendencies. Married to...
Matt (Hubby) - The once distant stranger that I complement beautifully. DH of 13 years and father of our four children.

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