Thread: Coming out
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Old 09-10-2013, 08:35 PM
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YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: SoNH
Posts: 758

Being mono, I get dealt the "victim" card by some folks, so when it does come out, I tend to have to go into over-explaining mode to make sure they realize that no, I'm not being used. yes, it's a good relationship. Yadda yadda.

My friends at work know that P is poly (well, that he has another LTR - the word "poly" seems too loaded, so I say "non-exclusive" instead), and they're cool with it.

P and I have some mutual friends, however, that just took it horribly. I'm the victim. He's the user. Right now, it's kind of turned into a stupid sitcom where the wife of a mutual friend (who's known P since 3rd grade) wants to invite only me to their housewarming party, so I can invite P as my date, rather than inviting both of us and having P take M1 as well (who seems to be persona non grata among some of the friends).

So far, I haven't seen an invitation, so maybe she's just not inviting any of us. C'est la vie.

I end up getting stranger looks because people in town still think my ex and I are married. It seems every few months or so, I'm telling someone else that no, we're divorced, and they're quite shocked. Probably because my ex and I still attend school functions for the kids together and talk and whatnot (and I still get along great with his mom and her BF), but I find it amusing that he hears people say "I saw your wife" and doesn't bother to correct them.

The most recent time I explained to someone that yes, we divorced two years ago, I added, "so when you see me at a function with a strange guy, now you know what that's all about." The reply I got was, "Well, you never know what people do in their private lives" and I had to laugh inside and think "if you only knew!"
Dramatis personae:
Me: Mono. Divorced, two kids, two cats, one house with many projects.
Chops: My partner of ~3 years. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Xena: Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Noa: Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).

My navel-gazing blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
My slightly more polished blog (external): From Baltic to Boardwalk
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