Originally Posted by Marcus
No idea. Once you and A shag it seems entirely likely that she will have an emotional reaction. That may be a hurdle for her which could be difficult... but she'll never grow if she's not given the opportunity/challenge.
A sounds like she is aware of her feelings, she's communicated them, she is adult enough to recognize that they are not entirely rational, and she has resisted the urge to ask you to take action in service of her insecurity. That is all really good news.
If you were going to wait for anything, you'd be waiting for her to get to the point she is at. Without actually being forced to deal with it I don't expect she will have the ability to grow much more than she already has.
I guess I haven't thought much about A's potential emotional response to when H and I finally actually have sex. H and I have talked a lot about it, and he seems to think if we wait A will be ok with it. However, given her past responses to things, I am beginning to wonder if that will not actually be the case.