Originally Posted by GalaGirl
Well, it's good she's reporting her emotional weather up front. Could give her props for that.
If your goal is to develop your relationship with H while preserving your friendship with A.... be a friend then. Friends do ask each other how they are doing from time to time.
Could ask her how she's holding up.
Could ask what she needs at this time in terms of support from you as she deal with accepting "the new normal." Is she feeling left out? Not considered? Dealing with envy and wishing she had some of the NRE action herself? Something else? Or basically ok and just needing time to pass?
She may or may not be willing/able to articulate everything but your could inquire about her well being as her friend.
If you are willing to do more than inquire, you could let her know what those things might be.
I guess I should add that even before H and I started getting involved my friendship with A was starting to drift apart. H&A live a few states away so I may only get to see them once a month or so. It used to be that when C and I were in town we would hang out with both of them, catch up, etc, but in the last 2 years or so A has developed a different group of friends and hobbies and is often out when we are around, so that we get to spend minimal time with her. While I do try to ask her about life, catch up, etc, I don't feel comfortable sitting her down and having a heart to heart "how do you feel about me being in a relationship with your bf" conversation with her.