Originally Posted by Marcus
While coddling someones insecurities would seem to be a helpful thing to do - it is having, in fact, the opposite impact. What will have a positive impact on her learning to work through her insecurities will be to treat her like an adult and let her deal with them. When you have sex with H, she will likely have an emotional response... she will have the opportunity to deal with said response and realize the reality that "everything is actually ok" and that the insecurity alarm bells were a false alarm. This is how we deal with these feelings, by experiencing them, working through them, and realizing that they are just feelings which need to be dealt with.
I say take her at her word and live your life (she will take care of hers).
So you are saying that we are, in a sense, avoiding the inevitable of her emotional response and it really doesn't matter how long we wait. You may be right as with past physical progression she has not seemed to have as much of an issue as we would have anticipated. A has even told us that in her eyes we have already had sex. In some ways she seems to struggle more with what she calls "coupley" stuff, when we cuddle or do other non-sexual things. Perhaps the worst emotional hurdle is over...