Originally Posted by MsChristy
A says she is ok with me and H playing, being in love, having sex, whatever, but because of her apparent jealousy issues we have abstained from sex.
While coddling someones insecurities would seem to be a helpful thing to do - it is having, in fact, the opposite impact. What will have a positive impact on her learning to work through her insecurities will be to treat her like an adult and let her deal with them. When you have sex with H, she will likely have an emotional response... she will have the opportunity to deal with said response and realize the reality that "everything is actually ok" and that the insecurity alarm bells were a false alarm. This is how we deal with these feelings, by experiencing them, working through them, and realizing that they are just feelings which need to be dealt with.
I say take her at her word and live your life (she will take care of hers).