Thread: Sailing Solo
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Old 09-10-2013, 02:09 AM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 738

I have a series of assignments to do for class. I sent out the questionnaire for the first one to a cross-section of folks, those who met me through work, only know me at work, and those who met me from outside work.

All of those who know me socially initially replied with, but you have 2 personalities, which one am I writing about? Interesting. Once we established that professionally I got a clean sweep , I said, "Answer how you will and I will work it out during the write up." I did not ask for explanations, there were no spaces for comments, though a couple added them anyway.

Kip completed one for me. Exactly the same answers as one of my BFFs. When I saw him today he offered to explain, I said that was not necessary, he insisted.
So we went through it line by line.

Most poly/relationship applicable point... He sees me as self-doubting when it comes to personal relationships and decisions. He sees me second guessing a lot of sound decisions. "You do not stick with your gut instinct."

I agree, not news, but something I need to keep in the forefront of my mind. Let's take Yo, broken up with him twice and still was contemplating restarting with him.

I gather the info, process, make a decision, then get all wishy-washy about it.

This does not happen at work, I am great at establishing and maintaining boundaries. No self-doubt, strong convictions in what I am doing. The physical and emotional safety of others and myself depends on it.

Romantic relationships... argh. Why do it lose it there?

Worried about hurting feelings? Doubt that I have acquired all the pertinent information? That makes sense, thinking as I am writing here. At work, I KNOW this is what needs to be done, it needs to be done quickly, no time to ponder the choice.

In relationships I am easily persuaded because there is information coming in about other peoples feelings and thoughts that probably I didn't factor into my decision, therefore my judgment is not sound, therefore I cave. Or I say, "let me have a think about it," then cave.

Time to re-read previous posts and see if I am onto something.
Me: mid 40s female
Mr Dom: late 40s. 6 months
Prof: 50s. 3 years.

Last edited by Atlantis; 09-10-2013 at 03:01 AM. Reason: typos
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