I don't have anything specific I'm looking for advice on at this point, just general pointers. Maybe some insight that comes from wisdom.
Maybe a little more info will help people know how to advise me.
1 until May of this year I had no ideamy wife was bi, that she wanted to have sex with other people and the real depth of problems we had had in our past.
2 my wife already has another man in her life. We talked about him and while it doesn't bother me that she hangs out with him or talks to him. My biggest hang up is that after talking about it all and agreeing that she won't have sex with him till we have worked out a lot more things he seems to be waiting in the wings for me to be ok with it all and she seems just fine waiting till I'm ok, but on the same hand is simply waiting to have sex with him. She asides me that its only about and and having fun, but its really hard for me to let that go and not freak out about it.
3 sex is a big deal for me and not hardly at all for her. Finding something that works for both of us is hard. I feel like I end up waiting for her to be ready a lot and just never being sure how things are going to go or when we might next have sex. I'm finding it very hard to branch out and find people to talk to or be more than just casual friends with, while she has a fairly sizable group of females that are bi and poly to talk to and basically everything besides meeting up to have sex.
Both of us come from complicated family situations and both of us have grown up in sheltered and oppressive families. We are both working on our own issues and working through some issues that we got into when we were first married. I fully realize we need to take it slow, but I would also love some insight and guidance along the way. Thanks in advance everybody.