Ive gotta chime in here cause this is an issue im currently having. I have a new GF and a wife and the first time I was with the GF a few weeks ago, I couldn't get hard even though I was really excited to be with her.... then it happened again and now its happening with my wife as well. I am inclined to think that it failing the first, got in my head and now I cant stop thinking about it and its snowballing. I am not sure how to turn it around right now, im trying to be in the moment lol but the fear of not being able to get or stay hard is still there and then .... nothing happens.... wife is supportive and is fine with my issue and is wiling to keep trying to help me solve it lol. GF is also supportive.
I can tell you that my ego is taking a real bruising over this