SC, in your and Auto's case, it doesn't sound like what I was referring to in my post that you quoted. It sounds like thoughtful discussion took place, important issues handled with specific actions/remedies, and everyone clear about their choices.
My issue, personally, is always about when someone in a relationship makes rules for their partner's relationships in order to preserve and lord their couplehood over others. Some of the stories I read here about what people put up with, because they think that is what poly has to be, are true life horror tales IMO! Perhaps that kind of bullshit is why the OP started this thread with:
Originally Posted by NowIKnow
I don't buy into this polyamorous requirement that if you are legally married to someone that your spouse has to also be romantically involved with the other person you are in love with.
Beyond the issue of time management, I simply don't want someone not in a relationship with me making rules for my relationships, so I hope that anyone I get involved with has a strong relationship and a strong need of equanimity in their relationships, so that no one thinks they can create rules for me. I certainly would never allow myself to be coerced into some weird psycho-sexual arrangement with a guy's spouse just to be with him.