It would be nice if it were that easy lol. As I said, he does care for her somewhat. He just thinks he has to be involved with her in order to keep her there because it is what she wants. If she leaves then I would no longer have my companion, the help, or my step-kids with me because she would take my step-kids with her (which I understand since they are her children). He knows that if she left or the kids left I would be devastated. He does not want that to happen, so he gives her what she wants in that aspect so that I can be happy. (He just does not understand the concept that I can be happy with a different situation to have the kids here). Does that make sense?
He has tried on several occasions to tell her that just a friendship between him and her is okay with him and what he wants. Even if it is just a friends with benefits every now and then. Yet, she still does not want that. So, he obligates himself to the whole thing with her.
In some ways it bugs me because what if he and I decide we want to have a relationship with someone we BOTH trust and care for and not just me being the one who feels for the other person...I'm afraid she will prevent that from happening, even though it is the lifestyle we have wanted before she ever came along.
I don't want him with her out of an obligation for the kids and I, but how can he get out of it with her when she will not accept that happening? If she flips out because of it, then that means the kids will essentially be taken from us and moved across country with her. Yet I don't want to lose her either. I just can't get either one of them to understand he does NOT have to be with her if he does not feel the want to be involved....Complicated I know....Hence why I asked for advice. *sighs* I already know I would never choose her over him. So, that is not the issue.
Last edited by AilaLynn; 09-09-2013 at 12:46 PM.