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Old 09-09-2013, 02:29 AM
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alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North Idaho
Posts: 346

Originally Posted by Dragon13 View Post
This is just my opinion, and how it works at our house. Either spouse may have a lover just for themselves, but that lover must be approved by the other spouse. Otherwise, I have to question the love and respect that the couple has for each other. We have said for years, that either of us can go out and find another lover, but before you get to spend time with that lover, it must be approved by the spouse. We have no doubts in our mind that our love for each other will continue no matter who is brought home. Our concern is that the person being brought into the relationship thinks they might be able to steal the person away. While we have no fear of it, we do not allow that kind of thinking. We will share our love with others, but do not allow anyone else to think they can steal the love away.
There is no way my spouse can tell me I can date so and so and vice versa. The only time we've agreed to meeting each other's partner is if it's going to involve our children. I have enough faith and trust in him that he'll make the right judgement for himself; otherwise that is nothing but CONTROL. No one can control me and I wouldn't be happy if any one tried.

As far as a cowgirl or cowboy, again, I have faith my spouse will recognize this and the same for me. This sounds like an insecurity. I realize this works for you but still no way in h#ll will my spouse control my other relationships; otherwise I might as well stay monogamous and be dictated to about who I can like or not like as my friends.

As far as letting a new partner know they can't steal you from your spouse or vice versa, can't that be discussed when you start seeing them. Why do they need to meet your spouse or vice versa? It just doesn't make any sense to me aside from it being a control thing. But that again is my opinion.
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