We don't have any rules about meeting metamours (or friends for that matter - MrS and Dude were friends for 3-4 years before I met Dude). We also don't have any rules about metamours getting involved with each other (either for or against). Whatever happens, happens.
Since we are currently expanding our socializing to include poly meet-ups etc. it is certainly possible that we are going to meet people who have their own "rules" in this department. None of us has any objection to meeting or talking to anyone that the others is involved with if that is what they would need to feel comfortable. After that, the level of socializing and friendship/more that developed between any of the individuals involved would be up to the individual people involved.
That being said, we share a lot of interests, it wouldn't be unusual for potential dates/metamours to also share those interests. We would likely meet our potential dates at places where more than one of us was present. If one of us was interested in someone and it got to the potential dating stage then it would seem natural to invite them to things that we are attending that they might enjoy.
For instance, last night Dude invited his new interest from OKC to a concert that we were all attending along with a friend of his - we all went to dinner, the concert, and then back to her place for chit-chat - her husband was asleep. We all had a great time. They agreed that there was enough interest there for them to aim for a one-on-one date in the near future.
This is actually a model that feels very comfortable to me - how we used to hang out and meet people when I was in high-school/college. People would invite friends, people had interests in common, sometimes people would hit it off and go on to date each other. (This is how I found MrS - and I wasn't even "looking"!)
As usual, that was more than I meant to write...
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (5+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic girlfriend and BFF
Lotus: "it's complicated"
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.
My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 09-08-2013 at 10:43 PM.