Well, we didn't win at trivia - we were in 2nd place, one point away from the win and then missed the last question. Lame! Still, fun was had by all.
I didn't have a lot of alone time with M, which I knew I wouldn't. It was nice though, sitting with my husband on one side, and M on the other, holding hands with both.
I did drive M home after, and we had time for some brief conversation. He is still anxious about his test results on Wednesday, but I am not stressing about those at all. We made another date - another overnight - for this coming Friday - and that'll be our first "all the way" sex session, if his results were clean. So we are both really looking forward to that, even though it has brought up a host of other issues.
I am still planning on getting an IUD, but that is a couple of months out. In the meantime, we plan to use condoms as a birth control method. However, M has a difficult time maintaining an erection, and as a result, condoms aren't necessarily going to be the best choice. So we had some talking to do about what other methods we could employ to keep me from getting pregnant until I get the IUD.
Also, apparently his wife is uncomfortable with the idea of us being condom free, even with me having regular STD tests and an IUD. She thinks he is trusting me too much. M says she isn't throwing him an ultimatum or anything like that, just letting him know she doesn't like that decision. He says what that means is that he will hear about it again, most likely. He also said I shouldn't worry about it, because he is more likely to choose to use condoms with her than me, because the frequency of sex with her is much less than the (potential) frequency with me, if she really does have an issue that she decides is a hard line for her.
This part of the conversation had me feeling anxious and a little sad, because I don't like thinking about his wife having issues with the way I conduct my relationships. Though, I know she has said many times that she doesn't understand polyfi and that she would never choose it for herself. M has said repeatedly he can't be poly any other way, himself.
All of that led into a discussion about his wife H's desire to become more open with her polycule located on the west coast, which she has expressed to the both of us at different times. I told M that when that happens, if he is not using condoms with her, I will have no choice but to go to condoms, regardless of whether or not I have an IUD. He said he would definitely be using condoms with her if she starts having penetrative sex with guys. He is less sure if she just has sex with other women. (His wife identifies as pansexual.)
A modern day polyamorous polygamist My Online Journal
Me, Central Hub in a Y shape (38F)
Wife to DarkKnight (39M) & PunkRockAwesomesauce (42M)
Girlfriend to WarMan (40M) - Monkey is his long time friend
Last edited by Bluebird; 09-08-2013 at 10:18 AM.