Trying to keep it brief
So many things have happened, so many things have come and gone.
There was a short period of just friends that was way too intimate to be just friends. That period ended due to my catching Airyn in a very significant lie. This caused Airyn to delete his accounts (Gmail, FB) cutting Chipmunkís only avenues of communication off. She comes pounding on our door demanding to talk to Airyn or she wonít leave. Which causes even more friction between Airyn and I, and begins a short period of Airyn and Chipmunk not seeing or speaking to each other.
That period is marked Airynís anger, regret, resentment, and bitterness. He made his choices, but of course feels forced. He chose to close his accounts, I didnít not suggest that, I did say that I feel he should not be seeing Chipmunk at all. So after a little over a week heís talking about needing to be able to see Chipmunk. Talking about how his anger and resentment arenít helpful for he and I. He knows Iím not ok with him restarting his relationship with her. Iím asking for time. Time to be just us, time where maybe heís just talking online, but not meeting for a few months. What I get is him meeting her within a week of talking to me about it, I get an agreement that he wonít see her more than twice a week, and that he wonít go over to her place. We both acknowledge that these ďrestrictionsĒ probably wonít last. There is one very big restriction; Chipmunk will never be invited to family get togethers. When his family is in town, or my family, or we have visits from friends she will not be invited, and Airyn is expected to spend this time with family, and our guests. That is not a restriction that would be changing at all.
This restarting of their relationship does not go well for Airyn and I. Things were not different. She has no respect for family time. By the second week Chipmunk is already requesting a sleepover before the end of the month, and to be able to see Airyn more than what Airyn and I agreed to. From where Iím sitting these restrictions should not be a surprise. As far as Iím concerned Airyn should not be even considering dating Chipmunk again.
Airyn basically he wants both relationships to be a part of his life, and I can not truly be ok with him dating Chipmunk any longer. But I was attempting to give him some space to keep seeing her. There was the hope that maybe in the future things would get better, and they would be able to have even more space.
At that time it was understood that I was not ok with his continuing his relationship with her, not ok with his plans to go from friendly get togethers to dating, and eventually back to the romantic/intimate relationship like they had before.
WE again have visitors, and again she causes drama. Itís really not difficult to understand why she is no longer invited to participate in these things. Even if she and I were on better terms her pouty BS over this whole thing every time there is family/friend visits. Basically the deal is if I will be there then she will not. There are to be no exceptions this time. So she throws fits over it. Telling Airyn that heís allowing me to control him. Telling him that he should be spending more time with her.
So our next visitors are a couple longtime friends who will be visiting for 3 weeks. Airyn tells me that he once again reminded Chipmunk that she will not be invited, will not get to participate, and that Airyn will be busy with family, and our guests, and wonít be able to see her during this time. There are no restrictions on his talking to her other then he be polite, and not do so and ignore the rest of us. So heís expected to keep it minimal versus the rapid fire conversations they have anytime she is not working.
Airyn sees her for a long afternoon date the day before our friends arrive. They know about Chipmunk, and our poly attempt with her. They knew she moved out, and that she and I are not friends, and that Iím no longer talking to her. They both ask me what happened. I had previously introduced them via skype video, and Chipmunk had FB friended the guy (Dance). A week after They arrive Chipmunk makes a pouty manipulative attempt to get Dance, his GF Goth, and of course Airyn to come see her the next day. This greatly angers me. And Goth is going on about how sheís glad they knew beforehand that things are not cool between she and I or they would have done the friendly thing and likely have accepted her invite for dinner, and just brushed aside her woe is me remarks. She was very upset at this manipulation, which only fuels my resentment, and anger at Chipmunks newest attempt to insinuate herself into my time with family, friends, and Airyn.
This goes poorly, Chipmunk is demanding to chat with Airyn. I tell Airyn that he should log in long enough to tell her to drop it. He does this. Then tells me that I and my friends need to leave my place so she can talk to Airyn. WTH? Umm NO! I tell her she wonít be seeing or talking to Airyn. She demands he meet her and give back her house key. I tell Airyn to stay home, and Goth and I catch her as she comes up to my door, She had said to meet her at the market at the corner. Just a diversion in her attempt to manipulate things so she can see Airyn. I give her back her key, and tell her she has 5 mins to leave before I call the police that she is now trespassing on private property where she is not welcome.
She tells me itís an apartment and she doesnít HAVE to leave. I tell her that Itís my home, and she does, and that the police will side with me. She tells me that Airyn is not my husband, that he and I are just married, and that heís only living with me because of Wolf. And some other rather crazying sounding things. But these were the big ones. Goth and I go back inside and relate what happened. I have a witness to her crazy for once, so Airyn can blow it off to me over reacting.
Chipmunk appears to leave, but a few mins later she outside my door pounding on it. Once again demanding to see Airyn. Instead of calling the police, we all leave out of the back door while sheís at the front door. An hour or so later I get a message from Airynís mom telling me that Chipmunk contacted her asking where Airyn is.
A close friend of mine who I stopped by to introduce to Dance and Goth informed me of Chipmunkís bizarre post to her FB wall. She has FB friended everyone of my friends that she was introduced to. Chipmunk post on her FB page some things about how she knows all the facts, that Certain people think they can exclude her when people visit, but that she has every right to be a part of that, and some other hurtful things. Like how she will always be in Airynís life no matter that someone doesnít like it, and on and on in that vein. She didnít use my name, but she was referring to me.
Married to my high school sweat heart (20 year relationship). Talked about Poly, but put the idea off and had a kid instead. Stumbled into an FFM (Vee) that became an FMF (Vee).
No longer dateing my husbands Girlfriend.
Airyn: My husband (Straight)
Chipmunk: My x-GF, My husbands GF (Straight)
Wolf: my Daughter with Airyn
Boots: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married
History: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married