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Old 02-22-2010, 05:55 AM
polytriad polytriad is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 105

Originally Posted by ImaginaryIllusion View Post
If watching is too much stimulus for you...why are you watching it? Why are you in the room? If it's such a temptation, remove yourself.

My wife and I mostly date separately...I deliberately put space between her gf’s and I, even if I might otherwise be interested in them as well. As such if they’re on the couch being affectionate, I’ll usually be somewhere else.
Go to another room to write on the boards, call a buddy to go for a beer, find some work to do in the yard or another room...go have a cold shower, have a nap. Whatever. Do something, and give them their space.

One thing I think poly is often criticized for (rightly or wrongly) is a lack of self control. The wanting cake and eating it too is seen as a lack of discipline. Those who live (successfully) monogamous lives deny themselves other partners. They exercise the patience and discipline required to make sure they don’t enter a new relationship or behave inappropriately if they’re already in one. While poly may offer a different perspective on when one can enter into a new relationship, it doesn’t mean patience, self-control or discipline is any less important.

If I understand correctly, you’ve made an agreement to allow them space to develop a relationship on their own terms before you’re brought back into the fold. Why endanger that? Is one night of cuddling worth risking the longer term happiness of all three of you? Be patient, honour your word, and talk about it later.
Probably 6 hours late, but there’s my suggestion.
I understand where you are coming from and I appreciate your suggestions. My problem is that if I get up and leave the room or go somewhere else that will then prompt questions. Such as why I'm leaving and in the essence of being honest I would tell them....thus making me go back on my word and making me look like I cant handle it.

I just endured and did my best to not let it show that I was feeling left out.

Thanks for talking me down
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