Originally Posted by spiderlady
We don't really talk about anything I guess. Work ~ which I have to ask "how was work" or "the guys do anything funny today?" or the kids. All which I bring up. He comes home and zones. Even on the weekend when he has no work, he zones. If I don't start the conversations, I feel like we wouldn't talk at all..
I wonder how much this is the fundamental problem, and talking about poly has just become an example of it. Is there a difference in his lack of responsiveness to poly-oriented discussions and to those about other things? Or is it just that poly is what you need to talk about right now, and so that is where you are aware of the lack of responsiveness?
It does sound like developing an additional social/emotional network would be of great benefit to you.
I think it might also help you or him to take a look at these books, and think about where your current manners of communication fit it and how they are affecting you. Also, do you think he actually understands what you are looking for from him? If your needs are very different from his, to what extent does he truly understand yours?