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Old 09-06-2013, 11:48 PM
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fuchka fuchka is offline
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Haha JaneQ - that is my cup of tea too... well... something I enjoy the fantasy of. I'm just not sure whether that would be a realistic dynamic. I'd rather see how things pan out than dream about 'what if's. Although, I can't help the naughty thoughts I figure it's not so bad to fantasise as long as it doesn't translate into manipulative actions. That said, I'm deeply suspicious about my subconscious mind. I have no doubt that I tend to behave in ways that make me try to get the outcomes that I reach for in daydreamspace. And too much of that would treat people as objects, I think? And not be intuitive to what other people want. I want our travel path to be a shared journey; I don't want to guide things more heavy-handedly than anyone else.

Grotto snoozy beside me. He arrived yesterday. Took me awhile to get used to him... It's only been a fortnight since I last saw him but it feels much longer than that. He seemed unreal to me, a little disconnected from me physically.

I remember I would feel that with partners when I'd been away for awhile. There's a strangeness when you meet again, like there are layers of clingwrap you have to peel off first.

Grotto didn't feel this aspect (I asked) so it's possibly a refraction from things with Lobe? They've been kinda intense. We've lazed away a few days in the last fortnight talking and fucking and getting to know each other. I still haven't said "I love you"... well... once by accident very sleepily but I don't think he heard. I certainly feel it though, this wellspring of love, mm.

Lobe's wary of being hopeful. That's probably a smart stance.

We agree that whatever happens, we'll be good friends and things won't get ugly. A pretty decent worst-case scenario, really!
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