How long to wait
I hope it works out well for you. The only things I can think of is discuss those certain behaviors that make you uncomfortable and feel like you're walking on egg shells. Maybe the constant discussion will get her to realize how her behavior makes you feel or try to spend more time with her. I am in a very similar situation with my triad, it isn't a very good position to be in. You probably feel like you will have to leave if she can't get her act together. One bad apple spoils the bunch rings true to these situations. You may wonder like me, how long should you wait for her to be completely and truly ready? I have been in my triad for 1 1/2 years now and I still feel tolerated. You hope she will come around sooner more than later. Good luck.