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Old 09-06-2013, 04:03 PM
Cleo Cleo is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 485

Still a lot of stress in my life, but love-wise, things are calm.

I disabled my OKC profile. I'm going on a month long trip with Ren and I will take this time to really get away from everything, and during that, I don't want to be bothered by 'hi how r u' messages (or be tempted to check if there new poly guys in my area )

I did have an interesting date last week. He's shorter than me which is usually not what I'm into (but with a face that attracted me a lot). Not the literate, witty sort of person that usually attracts me. Works with his hands, doesn't read much, etc. But very kind, funny, open, relaxed and nice to be with. We definitely had chemistry. He hasn't had sex for a while (is in an open, but mostly platonic marriage). I think there's some FWB potential there although I don't see us do much besides spending time in bed . We'll see, if the interest is still there when I get back form my trip.

Had a really good date with Knight the other week. I love him so much. He's weird, crazy, always does and says the unexpected. But Even with the weird turns our relationship always seems to take, I know and feel that he loves me too.

I will see MrBrown again when I get back. I miss him, but I know it's good that we haven't seen each other for a while. Some things Marcus said on another thread about how independence and a D/s dynamic seem incompatible to him, had me thinking. The dynamic between MrB and me definitely became unhealthy the moment I started being clingy and needy and he started to withdraw - at first I assessed his withdrawing as dominance, and it sort of became part of the dynamic. I now see there was something not quite right about that. We will need to address that when we talk about the new shape and form our relationship is going to take.

I am going to try to take a break from the forums as well. Just be with Ren, go on this trip, visit friends, just BE.
I need it.
Cleo - forties straight female
Ren - husband of 20 + years
Bo - BF of 3 years
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