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Old 09-06-2013, 02:10 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231
Default General, overly-simplified thoughts

Hey there,

Happened upon your post and thought it might be something I could contribute some general thoughts to to help keep focused. Major non-traditional lifestyle changes can be a real tempest, and it's easy for it to get / seem to be out of control.

Some guidelines to keep in mind............

1> Adopting a poly lifestyle will bring ALL the same conflicts and challenges that a "poly" (multiple) anything will ! And at the root of it, these aren't conflicts born of poly loving etc but just born of human nature and the laws of physics ! As humans - we can't TRULY multitask - to any effective degree. When we try, we come up with plans and ways to juggle, compromise, sacrifice some stuff along the way. Only 24 hours in a day regardless, and only so much emotional, sexual, whatever energy available to get spread around.
Keep this in mind

In theory it often gets sold otherwise but in reality, anyone who has ever attempted poly anything has run headlong into the wall before long. I suspect you can look back on your own instances of this

2> In poly loving circumstances you have two components to manage. The sexual piece and the emotional piece. I just tend to bundle the 'emotional' piece in with the physical constraints like time, attention etc.
The sexual piece - depending on your culture and upbringing is often the scariest but in actuality, the easiest to settle into. Once you and partner(s) get past the programming that having sex with anyone is anything more than just that - having SEX (like having dinner), as long as safety is not compromised - that's a cake walk. It's often not nearly as difficult (and sometimes not as thrilling) as you expected LOL


Balancing all the time and emotional considerations is a real bear. Just remember it in the context of having too many friends, too many jobs, too many kids, too many hobbies etc etc etc. Eventually something will get sidelined. Or you will get super=-stressed and have a breakdown lol. When HUMANS feel sidelined they don't like the feeling much and soon trouble will start. If you look around here I think you'll find some excellent threads on Communication.

So that's really what it boils down to - a grand over-generalization. Think about your resources (time, energy, money etc) and how you will be able to reasonably spread them out. And then ask yourself - AND the potential recipients, if that will be enough. You may be surprised at what you discover compared to the dream/fantasy.

Hope this makes some sense..................... there's endless details that could be added/discussed on each of these points.


Last edited by GroundedSpirit; 09-06-2013 at 02:12 PM.
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