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Old 09-06-2013, 11:59 AM
bookbug bookbug is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 757

Originally Posted by london View Post
If you see here, Marcus clearly sees his need to not interact with his partner as more important than her need to interact. Now, of course, it's his need so that is going to be high up in his list of Important Things but look at what that is actually saying to your partner: "my needs come first". Why couldn't he agree to interact for an hour and then be left in peace? Why must the thing he wants come first? Why must the thing she wants come second? Yes, they reached a compromise, but a compromise that clearly stated that her needs are of less importance, are less relevant and less "right" than his. In truth, neither of them are right or wrong, they are just wholly incompatible.
There is a school of thought that indicates if we attend to our own needs first, we are far more effective at attending to others needs - along the line of "put your own oxygen mask on first." I suppose in less than the plane is about to crash circumstances, it might be better to look at whose need is most dire, and whether we want our loves to address our need in the most efficient manner available or if "now" is more important.

Either is a valid answer, but results may vary.
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