Thread: BDsm
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Old 09-06-2013, 03:55 AM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,510
Default Not aimed at any poster-just general trivia

I think it's important to understand that there is a difference between a Dom/sub relationship and a Master/slave relationship.

A D/s relationship can easily be partitioned into sections of your life. VERY easily actually.
Whereas in a Master/slave relationship the Master is the final say so.

I am the sub in a D/s relationship. I would never be willing to be a slave in a Master/slave relationship. As a switch-it would be completely unhealthy for me to commit to giving someone else all of the control for all of the time.

On the other hand, my relationship with GG is Master/slave and he is the slave. We don't "dress" the dress. I don't wear the black boots. I don't use a whip or restraints for that matter. I don't need to. I rarely need raise my eyebrow for that matter. He defers to me always. He always has.
If I have a need or a want, he tries to fill it immediately. Even if it isn't something he prefers. I actually created some rules when we formally agreed to this dynamic-that force him to be more attentive to his own needs. It drives him crazy-but I think it's important and necessary to promote him being the best version of himself in a way that allows for him to be self-sufficient emotionally and physically (not just financially) if something were to happen to me.

As noted by a previous poster-this dynamic existed long before we ever heard of BDSM. (like 17 years before). He's always been 100% submissive to me. I worked very very hard not to take advantage of that when we were 'just friends' and in doing so-it created a level of trust between us-that is just unbreakable and unexplainable. Many people don't understand at all.

Whereas-in my role as sub to Maca, I can and do say no when D/s crosses into areas where it isn't workable for me. I am completely submissive to him in the privacy of our own room. I have agreed to some little things that are public-like I don't order my own meals in restaurants. But they are small-and not highly noticable.
If you were to ask anyone in our larger social circle-they would all identify me as Dominant, "in charge" and "in control".

Ironically-many see GG as being my "puppy dog"-it's been said so many times over the years it's hilarious. Because in a very real sense-he operates that way and in the BDSM world many would identify him as my "pet". But I don't see him that way at all. I see his submission, I accept it, but I use it to benefit him-not myself.
On the other hand-no one ever perceives either Maca or I as being submissive. We operate well together as a team-but we both come across as "the boss". My common analogy is that we are the general foreman carpenter and general foreman electrician on a job. We have our own crew we are in charge of-but we work together to get the job as a whole finished.
But- no one see's the underlying play-by-play that happens between us. Sexually and in some other private areas, I am very much his "little" (research will explain that one to any who don't know the term) and while the outside world doesn't generally see it-GG, Maca (and my baby brother of all the bizarre things) do see it and notice it in every day life.
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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