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Old 09-05-2013, 11:16 PM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Richardson, TX
Posts: 1,344

Originally Posted by spiderlady View Post
And right now? He's pretty much my only adult face to face conversations. We live in the middle of nowhere and I don't drive. And I'm a SAHM, with a 2.5 and older ones in school
I dated a girl a year ago who had a high need for interaction and a low need for alone time. I have a high need for alone time and a low need for interaction. For the first year of our relationship she worked at home and I went into the office. I would come home and she would be like a dog who missed its master, engaging me on every possible topic, prompting me to talk to her about work... it was killing me. I actually dreaded coming home because I knew I would need to engage her and I just needed to recharge.

While that particular relationship didn't last for a myriad of reasons, we did come to one compromise which was helpful. I told her that I needed to decompress when I came home and that, if she would give me an hour of peace after I came home that I would be much more likely to join her in some of her energy level. It worked well enough, I felt less like she was draining the life out of me and she had a "schedule" for her anxiety.

It isn't easy for a high social need person to mesh with a low social need person but I am guessing it's possible. Maybe you could start looking at it as this kind of dynamic. Find some simple compromise which gives both of you some comfort.

More importantly - GET AN OUTLET. This guy is eventually going to go postal on his office if he has to be your only social outlet. I'm being serious here, go WAY out of your way to find a healthy outlet for your social needs.
Me: male, 40, straight, single
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