*hug* That really sucks. I'd just remember that its been long enough that I'd have trouble blaming any of this on NRE, and try to see Airyn as showing who he really is. I don't envy you the decisions you're faced with, but I hope you are able to make choices that are the best for you (with Wolf a close second).
I will say that after my husband broke every rule we had, and we separated - he also was very confused and still wanted to be with me, (though in that case I didn't really think I wanted to be with him still, but was willing to date him and see how it went). His actions and failure to follow through showed that he wasn't committed even if his heart wanted to be with me still. I decided to make the decision FOR us. I told him I felt it was clear he wanted a divorce even though he was swearing up and down he didn't, and told him I was going to get started on the paperwork. In retrospect he agreed that it was the right thing to do, but he just didn't have the objectivity to step back and see it at the time. It was the best decision I could've made. Sticking around while he tried and failed while getting further hurt in the process would've made it so we weren't best friends a decade later. I'm a big fan of listening when someone's subconscious is screaming louder than their mouth is - not sure if you feel its the case for you, but it sure was in mine.
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.