1.) I conceded in the previous post that taking a break is not a viable idea.
2.) We are losing what we had. It's painful. I am looking for ways to fix things.
I think I may have come off really bad in this post. All I can say is that my therapist (who is poly) is always impressed with how hard I work on issues, how I don't cut myself a lot of slack, own my own shit, etc. I'm not perfect. I'm not trying to say that. I'm human. I'm struggling. She has briefly met my husband (one session) and she's been a part of my processing for over a year now. In things that have come up she's questioned if something happened during his teens to have emotionally stunted him in that period of his life.
I'm also deeply in love with my husband. This is incredibly painful.
Petunia: 51 year old, straight, cisgender female
Bond: 45 year old straight cisgender male, Primary Partner
B: Bond and Petunia's 39 year old girlfriend
Bea: Bond's 39 year old cisgender girlfriend
M: Bond's 45 year old cisgender bisexual ex-girlfriend
Golden: 41 year old male, ex-boyfriend
Twitch: 45 year old straight cisgender male, ex-husband, father to Shasti's son
Shasti: Twitch's 45 year old straight cisgender girlfriend, mother of Twitch's son