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Old 09-05-2013, 06:26 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,521

hi petunia ...sorry things aren't going well.

The concept of "The Break " is a confusing one. To rebuild ...implies something got broken along the way ...if so why wasn't it addressed and dealt with then. Most cases it was addressed, ...discussed ... but those concerns were dismissed or better yet ignored.
To work on communication ....why cant that happen right a way. Why the need for the break.
To refocus time and attention ...wasnt that all negotiated in the first place. Everyone like the way it is ..example ( "hell you made the schedule" )
To help an insecure partner with his or her feeling .... But everyone's responsible for their own feeling ....the partner or others can't make them feel anything so why punish the group.

So now everything comes to a halt ( all other partners get put on the shelve ) to do what ? Spend more time ...say loving things do spontaneous loving things?

My question is that organic? I'm sure it could be but if we're in the mandatory time out period and I got this hot lover on the other side of the wall ....what dumb ass isnt going to go out of his way to do whats "expected" ...calm things down. Bring some flowers ...fold the cloths ...give a back rub ...whatever the love language his partner is. WOULD that work ? If so why not just do that ?

What's your goal in having the break ...hoping he falls back "in love " with you ? ...getting more attention, etc

And what about the fairness to the other partners ?

What about the concept we created this disconnect while poly we should fix it being poly.
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