So, your ideal is a very deep emotional connection, with an understanding that all things will work out even if they turn out differently than we had imagined. Is that an accurate description?
Re: labels ... yes, they have a way of sneaking up on us, and can be very counterproductive. I believe that each individual is very unique, so one-size-fits-all words don't actually fit very well.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"