Hi there. I am also new to this forum. I read your first couple posts in this thread and then skimmed through the others.
I am also figuring out what I currently need out of relationships. I try to think of my relationships as being fluid. I may need more stability or commitment right now, while in the past I did not and in the future I may not again.
I am big on being honest about connections and feelings. So polyamory really helps fulfill that aspect of my relationship needs.
I just want to put it out there that you're not weird, you're in transition. Something that I may always be in...Who knows?