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Old 09-04-2013, 01:30 PM
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Marcus Marcus is online now
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Haltom City, TX
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Originally Posted by poobah123 View Post
Mostly because the introverts don't tell us whats bothering them until weeks later!!
Passive, is the diagnosis you are looking for... passive. The fact that she is an introvert probably has encouraged her learning these passive conflict resolution techniques, but I assure you an introvert has exactly the same capacity to be assertive as an extrovert.

Originally Posted by poobah123 View Post
My OSO might organize something and my wife doesn't agree with it or feels like my OSO is running her life.
You are responsible for your wifes relationship with your OSO?

Originally Posted by poobah123 View Post
My mother wishes she could have a closer bond with her but it just doesn't happen.
You are also responsible for the status of the relationship between your wife and your mother?

Originally Posted by poobah123 View Post
I guess in my thinking there should be more communication amongst the four of us and there is not.
You are responsible for everyone's relationship with everyone else?

Originally Posted by poobah123 View Post
This is a problem for me. I am often caught between my wife and my OSO. My get pissed. I am forced to upset one.
You seem to have found yourself in the mediator position between various relationships. It's no wonder you are frustrated.

However, there is exactly one person who is to blame for this and exactly one person who can fix it. Yep, that would be you.

My suggestions:
Stop pointing fingers.
Stop playing mediator.
Start saying "that's not my business and it bums me out to hear it" to every person who tries to bring you into their garbage.
Start spending your time on something positive (hobby, job, friends, whatever)
Google "passive communication style"
In short, start living your life and stop worrying so much about how everyone else is living theirs.
Independent (Anarchist) Non-Monogamy

Me: male, 40, straight, single
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