First of all, you don't HAVE to be anything. Remember that you have alot of power in your life, and that power comes in the form of the ability to make choices.
You seem to feel cornered, that is a very uncomfortable place to be, since it can feel like you have no power. There are no rules, nothing you have to do, you can take any pace you like. The worst feeling is going through pain because you feel stuck. Tell your husband how you feel, no need to pretend.