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Old 09-03-2013, 08:23 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by poobah123 View Post
First..THANKS for all the responses! I will try and answer most of your questions.

So yes I agree I think this is an issue with me not accepting her introverted personality. I agree she shouldn't change entirely. However her personality is what pushed me away because I lacked what she could not give me. Affection, Sex, Acknowledgment that I exist. We were essentially roommates. So I ended up falling in love with someone else. So yes there were something in our marriage we had to fix and we are better off today.
Quote:
I agree my wife doesn't need to like her. The problem is my wife gets upset because of the natural differences between extra and introverted personalities. My OSO might organize something and my wife doesn't agree with it or feels like my OSO is running her life.
I think you need to re-assess the diagnosis. Neither of those "symptoms" you mention apply to introversion or extroversion. They are independent and telling of other potential challenges. They apply to other .. disorders but I am not a doctor and don't know enough to really put anything together. I just know that neither of those applies to introversion/extroversion.

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I believe the primary relationship should be healthy before entering into a poly relationship and its just been back and forth. Good sometimes, bad other times. Mostly because the introverts don't tell us whats bothering them until weeks later!!
Again, not an introvert problem. Introverts can let people know what the problems are, they just may not thrive in social situations. You can have an introvert who can clearly articulate their needs and wants as well as organize time. Being refective doesn't exclude being assertive or even sexual.

I agree the primary relationship should be healthy to be fair to anyone coming in. Otherwise all hell can break lose.

Quote:
I agree my wife doesn't need to like her. The problem is my wife gets upset because of the natural differences between extra and introverted personalities. My OSO might organize something and my wife doesn't agree with it or feels like my OSO is running her life.
Why are they scheduling anything with each other if they don't like each other? And if this schedule seems to be about you, why aren't you controlling the schedule and making sure both parties have their needs met and/or the situation is explained.

Each person can control them, their own schedule and their own life. Its up to the others to be self assured to manage their own set of schedules so things mesh.

Questions like these come up all the time. Can two doms co-exist. can two subs be sexual.. introverts and extroverts working together. The simple answer is yes, these opposing personalities can work, as long as everyone understands their strengths and weaknesses. Respect amongst the entire group is important too.. if there isn't any, then I pitty the person being "scheduled".. they will get torn apart.

good luck, I would find it very tough to be involved in a two couple arrangement where the 2.. hinges.. don't get along.

Cheers
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