Originally Posted by poobah123
First..THANKS for all the responses! I will try and answer most of your questions.
So yes I agree I think this is an issue with me not accepting her introverted personality. I agree she shouldn't change entirely. However her personality is what pushed me away because I lacked what she could not give me. Affection, Sex, Acknowledgment that I exist. We were essentially roommates. So I ended up falling in love with someone else. So yes there were something in our marriage we had to fix and we are better off today.
I believe the primary relationship should be healthy before entering into a poly relationship and its just been back and forth. Good sometimes, bad other times. Mostly because the introverts don't tell us whats bothering them until weeks later!!
If I may make an observation, the issues you cited - acknowledgement, sex, affection - have nothing to do with the fact that your wife is an introvert. Being an introvert myself, and counting a number of them among my friends and family, they are as warm, friendly, and in my lover's case sexy as hell, as any extrovert. It is just that they all need time alone to recharge. So this whole introvert / extrovert divide you have going is a massive oversimplication of the problem.
These issues sound more related to inability to communicate, perhaps self-esteem issues, etc. Have you two tried counseling?