First..THANKS for all the responses! I will try and answer most of your questions.
So yes I agree I think this is an issue with me not accepting her introverted personality. I agree she shouldn't change entirely. However her personality is what pushed me away because I lacked what she could not give me. Affection, Sex, Acknowledgment that I exist. We were essentially roommates. So I ended up falling in love with someone else. So yes there were something in our marriage we had to fix and we are better off today.
I believe the primary relationship should be healthy before entering into a poly relationship and its just been back and forth. Good sometimes, bad other times. Mostly because the introverts don't tell us whats bothering them until weeks later!!
I agree my wife doesn't need to like her. The problem is my wife gets upset because of the natural differences between extra and introverted personalities. My OSO might organize something and my wife doesn't agree with it or feels like my OSO is running her life.
Niether I nor my family want her to change. We just WISH things could be different. My mother wishes she could have a closer bond with her but it just doesn't happen.
GalaGirl, will try to answer you
Not all problems have been resolved. However we acknowledge what they are and all try to work on ourselves. I guess in my thinking there should be more communication amongst the four of us and there is not.
This is a problem for me. I am often caught between my wife and my OSO. My get pissed. I am forced to upset one.
My family for the most part tries not to offend anyone. My mom is great. However she and my OSO get along great. LOVE to talk. My wife not so much but it is something my mother and family respects.
My goal is to be together and thrive! However I feel like we are just surviving
…..very good way to put it.
Gotta get back to work but appreciate all the responses!! I will be back.