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Old 02-20-2010, 03:22 PM
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ImaginaryIllusion ImaginaryIllusion is offline
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,986

Originally Posted by polytriad View Post
What do I do? If I try to talk to them about it I will have gone back on my word. I want this to work I want them to want me involved without me bringing it up....HELP..I need to be talked off the ledge....I'M REALLY LOSING IT....[IMG]file:///C:/Users/Thomas/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif[/IMG]
If watching is too much stimulus for you...why are you watching it? Why are you in the room? If it's such a temptation, remove yourself.

My wife and I mostly date separately...I deliberately put space between her gf’s and I, even if I might otherwise be interested in them as well. As such if they’re on the couch being affectionate, I’ll usually be somewhere else.
Go to another room to write on the boards, call a buddy to go for a beer, find some work to do in the yard or another room...go have a cold shower, have a nap. Whatever. Do something, and give them their space.

One thing I think poly is often criticized for (rightly or wrongly) is a lack of self control. The wanting cake and eating it too is seen as a lack of discipline. Those who live (successfully) monogamous lives deny themselves other partners. They exercise the patience and discipline required to make sure they don’t enter a new relationship or behave inappropriately if they’re already in one. While poly may offer a different perspective on when one can enter into a new relationship, it doesn’t mean patience, self-control or discipline is any less important.

If I understand correctly, you’ve made an agreement to allow them space to develop a relationship on their own terms before you’re brought back into the fold. Why endanger that? Is one night of cuddling worth risking the longer term happiness of all three of you? Be patient, honour your word, and talk about it later.
Probably 6 hours late, but there’s my suggestion.
“People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.” - Chinese Proverb

-Imaginary Illusion

How did I get here & Where am I going?

Last edited by ImaginaryIllusion; 02-20-2010 at 03:24 PM. Reason: Grammar
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