Originally Posted by JacobJT
Thanks for your response. I have been bullying myself in my head for sure. It's one of those personality traits I gained from other aspects of my life (in recovery) and honestly I've been really good about not doing it but this poly situation has brought it to a front.
Makes sense. Recovery can teach us a lot about ourselves. But as addicts we can easily forget the many reasons we we addicts. The belief of control of ourselfs and our surroundings kept us away from sobriety.
Poly seems random and out of control at all times. Since you can't control your partners it can feel like pure chaos. In the end, you can only control yourself, your actions and your feelings. Be happy with that and stop struggling with those many situations around you, you can't control.Be happy with yourself, confident in what you do
If you ever need to reach out, I have been sober almost 3 years. Poly for 5... wow really.. and non-monogamous for almost 15..
There was a certain part of me that was a little hurt because she very rarely has day time hours free and I often see her at the end of long nights when she's cashed out energy wise, and I was kind of like "hey, we never get that!"
Make your need known. It really isn't fair to you if she has a limited pool of energy and its always been used with new partners. My wife had health issues and it was always a negotiation to have her go out and partner up, and not have energy for life when she got home. She had to figure out a balance between life, lovers, and homelife. But she didn't realize she was missing that balance until I told her my specific needs.
Might help your "crazy town" feeling..