Hello!~ ^_^ I'm ColorsWolf, am I weird?~
Hello, I am ColorsWolf.~ A pleasure to meet you all!~
I feel...weird...confused about some things.
I respect and can understand all lifestyles, but it just seems some times that my way of thinking is generations out of sync with modern times.~
I'm not looking for anything 'purely physical' because I don't understand 'purely physical' and it seems very unappealing to me.~
Emotions are a part of who I am and they are a part of everything, so why would I ever want to separate them from anything?~
I don't understand 'purely physical' relationships that other people have, how can some one just 'turn-off' their emotions like that and become a robot?~ (Love-Machine? Haha!~ XD)
I've had sex before but it was online in a 3D virtual world (Second Life), I thought why not try out this whole "just bang anyone thing" and it was just like I thought it would be: briefly satisfying but cold and hollow afterwards...so cold *shiver*.~
I stopped playing Second Life, because even without the sex, the things I was doing in that 3D world I wanted to do here in THIS world: I wanted to hold someone, to kiss someone, to touch someone, and the more I realized I had't done that yet here the more depressed I became. So I stopped playing Second Life because it had lost its' appeal to me and it was just too painful to bear anymore.~
What I want is to love some one, but I don't expect anything and I would rather they not expect anything either, because when you do things in relationships just because they are expected of you, that defeats the whole purpose. I want some one to be with me because they WANT to be with me not out of any sense of obligation.~
I look at shows where Bill falls in love with Jenna, but Jenna doesn't feel the same way at first, so Bill moves on and falls in love with Jasmine, Jasmine falls in love with Bill right away, but then Jenna comes back and finally admits she loves Bill, now Bill must choose...why?~
I don't understand these situations the way they are presented in the last parts, why does Bill have to choose between tearing either 1 half of his heart out or the other half, why can't Bill just be honest and say, "I can't possibly choose between either of you, because you both are the two halves of my heart."?
I want to love some one, but if they feel any feelings for some one else I'll encourage them to explore those feelings. You can only love 1 person...why?
Ever hear of the phrase "Free Love", they meant it: love that is free with no expectations and completely unconditional, not this distorted concept it has been turned into years later.~ Yes you can have sex with any one you feel like with no expectations and no conditions attached, but that's not all the "Free Love" movement and concept was trying to accomplish.~
It seems people have forgotten the purpose behind the movement and what it even means any more.~ It seems with every revolution there is always a backlash trying to return things to how they once were. It seems between the revolution of love and the backlash that resulted from it created today's: "Free Sex" movement, but still with traditionalist values....weird.~ o.O
Am I weird for thinking like this, from what I've read I'm not, but is it weird to want love as free as sex is today with no conditions what so ever?~
On another note, there's something else I'm concerned about: I'm currently in the U.S.A. Navy Military and my life from this point on will be a very chaotic nomadic lifestyle, but that's something I've always wanted to live regardless of whether or not I was in the Military.
I'm not really concerned with Military, because I know how to handle things with them and I don't plan on getting married as I see it as unnecessary for me personally, let alone legally married because I believe the law and government should have no say in my love life without my consent, yet another positive ideal that 'Free Love' actually originated from well before the 1960s.
It's the chaotic free-spirited nomadic lifestyle, I know a lot of people crave 'stability' and that's not something I find appealing, I'm just a little concerned about how my desires for love without conditions and my happy chaotic free-spirited nomadic lifestyle will go together. I mean unless all my loves travel with me or I love some one and we pursue our own life paths then perhaps maybe years later we will meet again, or perhaps some combination of the two.
Sorry for so many words, I just had to lay down all my concerns I've been feeling lately and haven't really had any one to talk to about this.~
Last edited by ColorsWolf; 09-03-2013 at 09:04 PM.