Originally Posted by poobah123
Can a poly relationship succeed when it involves two couples who are inherently very different?
Hey Poobah. This is an interesting post because I have exactly the same situation you describe. However, I think that your situation is pretty good. Let me explain:
My wife and I are in a quad with another married couple.
My GF: Extroverted
My Wife: Introverted
Her BF: Introverted
My wife and I have been married for 17 years. Our marriage is awesome, exceptionally strong and loving. The other couple also has a very strong marriage. We are all very similar in our morals, beliefs, etc...
Being married to an opposite works perfectly IMHO. My wife is a calming presence which is what I need. We do have to work a bit harder to communicate sometimes but I am pretty used to that. She has a different perspective on virtually any topic so that's something we both benefit from. On the other hand, I am lucky to have an amazing relationship with my GF who is almost exactly like me. There are lots of additional benefits that I never knew existed before. Communication is a bit easier, we tend to "understand" each other. My wife reports the same benefits with her boyfriend.
Now, the relationships between same sex individuals are also interesting. The intro-extro dynamic make those friendships very strong as well.
The unique difference in relationship between my wife and my GF is something I cherish. We all enjoy the differences and embrace them because it is always fun and exciting. To be perfectly honest, it has also made me a better husband as well, I have changed certain things that in the past my wife used to simply tolerate. She has done the same for me.
Our quad works so well because of the unique differences in personality types.
But what I did have to learn was that the way I communicated with each person is completely different.
Lastly, in our situation, our success so far begins/ends with a strong marriage. I think we would have been done a while ago if we never had that. That would be my foremost concern with your situation.