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Old 09-03-2013, 03:48 PM
Random223 Random223 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 3

thanks for all the perspective, but i feel i should elaborate more. My partner and i live together and share our income and care for each others basic needs.(food, ect...) Although i am new to this i do not have another partner at this time. she has been in a love triangle with her other partner which turned mono, and ended in near termination of their friendship altogether, he moved his attention to another partner who in turn thought they were mono and from what i can tell does not want a poly relationship. Which is where the lies or misinformation seems to come from, because our shared partner was under the impression that she was aware of the relationship, which when our shared partner attemped to develop a friendship with his other partner. found out that was not true amongst other things. (empty promises, and various misinformation that is not as important as misleading the two partners.)

now as far as him and I go. we have a pretty decent friendship we have alot of respect for each other in the relation ship. and are careful not to step on each others toes. we do hang out as a group more than they spend time alone, and really he is very helpful for our relationship when he is maintaining his part. She rarely asks for time from him, mostly its just to touch base or to go spend a few hours together. they date maybe 1 or 2 times a month. but most of the time he makes promises for time with her that falls through more than not.
Since i am her primary i try to be there for her while she spends days crying over him and i watch her tell her self and me that she is gonna let him go for good, and that is not even counting for the unintentional projection of her emotions at me or the insecurities it creates. basicly i don't even have time to have problems in my side of the relationship. needless to say this means i am walking on eggshells instead of being able to manage issues that we need to work on because she is always having a bad day because of something that is completely out of my control. Then a few days go by (at this point she has wrote him off because he avoids her when she gets upset over him) then he just shows up and its like it never even happened. So i never really know where she stands with him.
I never blame him for her choices and/or emotional response. she is free to chose to hang out to someone that makes her sad, but it is getting exhausting spending 2-3 days out of every week playing clean up. not only for that but for his other partners taunts at her as well. this is my first poly relationship. im trying to learn as i go, but i am starting to think i have a bad example to learn from.

thanks again for hearing me out, and giving me perspective. do to the nature of our relationship that alot of my friends do not/will no understand i really have no one to turn to for console on this matter.
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