View Single Post
Old 02-20-2010, 11:52 AM
Ceoli Ceoli is offline
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: London, UK
Posts: 900

Originally Posted by Vexxed View Post
They might not change me, but I promise you that more women would be interested in me. I've seen it happen before when I put on 10 lbs and dress better.
I can't help but think, then, that perhaps you're trying to attract the wrong women? Either that or you don't think much of the women you're trying to attract.

We can all play that game of "if I was more 'x'" and "If I become more 'y', then I will be more attractive to people".

The fact is, that is only *one* aspect of attraction. And while it may open some doors for some people, it is not sufficient for creating and maintaining a genuine connection with someone. The trouble is that media and even these science books are trying to make us put more weight in these things than they actually hold in maintaining relationships.

My current partner is a funny looking guy. He's a big old nerd, slightly shorter than me and doesn't really possess the regularly accepted traits that make someone "hot". He also doesn't have a heck of a lot of money at the moment and his job is kind of cool, but he's not saving the planet or swimming with killer whales with what he does.

He also has a mile long list of women who want to either date him or at least get in his pants. He has NEVER had a problem finding partners. Mainly because he's a very direct, confident person who knows who he is, lives intentionally and really looks at the world and other people with wonder and joy. That's *really* attractive. If I were to only look at him in terms of a list of qualities that most people list off, he wouldn't pass. As it happens, I'm pretty head over heels for him and most of that has nothing to do with that list.

In fact, that list is only as relevant as you choose to make it.

Originally Posted by Vexxed View Post
It is terribly hard for me to start a conversation with women at coffee shops.
That's something that can certainly be solved with practice.

Last edited by Ceoli; 02-20-2010 at 12:11 PM.
Reply With Quote