I would point out to her ONCE what you are noticing-i would likely copy/paste what you wrote here for examples. Then end with something to the effect of
As adults I expect to be responsible for telling others openly, honestly and in an upfront manner when I have a need. i also expect that others will do the same. It seems reasonable that before another person would know this is my expectation, I need to let them know. So I am letting you know, I am not going to try to drag it out of you if I *think* you are uPset or uncomfortable. I expect you to manage your emotions and let me know in a clear and concise way if that is the case.
Somewhere in the middle explain what activities you enjoy and which you don't.
"Love As Thou Wilt"