Originally Posted by gingersnap
I wanted advice on discussing how she is wanting a V relationship, where her husband and I focus on her, instead of a triad. I dont know how to bring it up without upsetting her more, or making her feel like Im blaming her.
Well, if she wants to be in a vee, it's pushy and insensitive to force her into a triad. It sounds like you're disappointed that the ideal configuration you had in mind is not what she had in mind. But so what?
However, the way you describe it, "where her husband and I focus on her" is not what I would call a vee. That just sounds self-centered and like she's not really ready for any kind of polyamory. A vee would mean simply that all three of you are not involved with the other. Why not just keep your relationships separate and stop trying to fit into some pre-conceived ideal?