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Old 02-20-2010, 04:48 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,447

You guys are making some excellent points and it's making me self-reflect...

I do admit that I have, in the past, been guilty of "looking for someone to satisfy x" ... and when I step back and think about it, that has *never* worked! At least not for romance... It's worked very well at fetish events when "I'm looking for someone to tie me up in front of all these people" and I don't think it left anyone feeling the least bit taken advantage of!

In my marriage, despite the fact that there are a few sexual acts that I would enjoy more of, likewise for my husband, I would still say that I have "the whole package." If someone put me in a police state and declared polyamory illegal, and I was forced to be with only one person at a time for the rest of my life, then I definitely don't feel I'd have to leave my husband in order to get my needs met. I feel that all my needs are met right now.

What Ceoli says about bisexuality also makes sense. Since I've never had a long-term relationship with a woman, and I've never felt that there's some huge gaping hole in my life, that should tell me that being in love with a woman isn't a "need" that I have. Perhaps a desire is a better term for it, and desires are very different from needs. I desire chocolate and vacations to the mountains. I need food and shelter. I enjoy both chicken and tofu as sources of protein, but if one is unavailable, I am very satisfied with the other.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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