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Old 09-01-2013, 10:54 PM
monkeystyle monkeystyle is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: South of Chicago, IL
Posts: 149

Originally Posted by gingersnap View Post
I dont think she will change things. Its one of those dealswhere she will say shes not needy, so you cant tell her she is because she wont recognize her actions. And I dont feel like I should be the one putting my foot down because Im relatively new to the relationship and if I attempt to assert my opinion, in a nice way or not, then I will be overshadowing her.

With the insecurities, I know there's no way to fix them. I mean she is more introverted then I am so Im often more... dominant(?) than she is? So I find myself quieting myself down to ether build her up or to be lower then her (in a sense.) Her husband is also a bit more extroverted then her, but less then me. Which then brings about the problems of again overshadowing or "forgetting" about her when the three of us hang out. I get excited so he matches me, but then she feels "forgotten" or "left out" so then we have to match hers or ask her what she wants to do.

Could the issue be Im just too extroverted for this couple? Should I try and match them and then when Im not with them, be myself?
You can try, but would you remember to keep it up? Guess the question is really is it worth the effort to work around her issues?

I don't think altering your persona is very wise though. It probably provides a spark to your relationship and is a joy to have around. Introverts (like me at least) don't usually require someone to tone it down as we enjoy the rambling fun of an extrovert. Keeps the house from getting too quiet.

We need to time to decompress, but then we get lonesome for our extrovert pretty shortly afterward.
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