Originally Posted by ALpolyman
idealist.......back to the negativity and limiting beliefs, what would you suggest as to how to proceed? I truly believe that baby steps with small successes is our best recipe here.
I would suggest that the two of you continue to visualize what it is that you do want......spend more time focusing on that rather that the negative things that you are anticipating to happen. When my partner and I entered the lifestyle, we spent time visualizing how positive it would be and we also imagined what it would be like and how we might react. At the same time, we were open and willing to move forward with positive intentions for ourselves and the people we encountered.
When one of us has a negative or difficult experience, we use it as a chance to learn and move forward.
When we encounter a person or people who don't share our values or our ethics, we move away from them.
Bottom line is that we believe we are free to create a positive life for ourselves without having to sacrifice our personal morals, ethics, values and intentions.
If you want to send me a personal message, I can send you some worksheets that we use which helps identify values, feelings and intentions. These things can be worked on together.
I also agree with others that have said slower is better in your case and it probably would be great if she could get some therapy.