Great response and you definitely put a different perspective on it. One thing I have to overcome is my wife's negativity. That's not a slam at all. She is her own worst enemy sometimes and I'm usually the chearleader saying "yeah, you can do it". I've had to learn to become a more positive person but as you can tell, I'm wrapped in my own negativity. Still, she believes that pursuing this will possibly compromise this marriage. I don't know how to get her to open up a little more and take the baby steps necessary to grow.
Regarding my own pedestal...well, I am a proud individual in that I won't do things to upset my wife. The short story is she can be a high stress individual and so I make it a point to realize when I push her over the stressful edge. I know that her stress is her problem and I've encouraged her to seek counseling but money gets tight so she chooses not to go. I just have to be choosy when to talk about certain topics.
So back to the negativity and limiting beliefs, what would you suggest as to how to proceed? I truly believe that baby steps with small successes is our best recipe here.