I don't think anyone can answer this for you. The definition of "vanilla" depends on you.
In my context - we use vanilla to be a comparison of "us" versus "them" where "them" are "non-whatever I'm doing" people. We would be considered vanilla by our BDSM friends.
Me, Dino: 58 single straight male
Gidget: 51, single, straight, sub
Liza:42, married, straight
Celia: 52, single straight