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Old 09-01-2013, 04:01 PM
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idealist idealist is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Deep South
Posts: 545

Thanks for sharing. I understand how frustrating it can be!

I am hearing two things in your post.

1- you do not believe in your own (and your wifes) ability to evolve mentally and emotionally.

2- your views of integrity and loyalty seem to be limiting you in your own mental and emotional evolution. And you are also using your ideas of morals etc. to justify your position of being stuck.

Originally Posted by ALpolyman View Post
she feels that her jealousy and mine, is something so difficult to overcome that it may be to the detriment of......
As long as you believe that you have a limitation- you are strengthening that limitation. We become what we focus on.

Originally Posted by ALpolyman View Post
I feel the same way and I empathize and sympathize with how she feels. Even if I had sex with another woman and she said “yeah, go for it” and meant it, I would probably be sick to my stomach afterward and would probably be an emotional wreck for a little while.
Again- you are visualizing and projecting negative results rather than allowing yourself to evolve and visualize and project positive results.

Originally Posted by ALpolyman View Post
I guess it’s because I have so much self-integrity and a moral compass that breaking “my own rules” or “breaking society’s rules” will make me crazy.i
Not only are you expecting a negative reaction, but you are justifying it by putting yourself on a pedestal and claiming super human qualities of integrity and morals.

Originally Posted by ALpolyman View Post
Still, I have this underlying desire to experience being with another woman, preferably in a threesome scenario but I suspect that’s highly unlikely at first.
Another negative is based on reality- however the best way to overcome realistic challenges is to approach them with a positive outlook and determination.

Originally Posted by ALpolyman View Post
I can’t really explain why and I don’t know what to do about it. No, I won’t ever cheat on her…my heart absolutely wouldn’t let me and even if I did, I couldn’t live with that decision.
More negative projections.

Originally Posted by ALpolyman View Post
I’m very loyal.
More being on a pedestal.

Originally Posted by ALpolyman View Post
But, I know the jealousy thing will still be there no matter how long we decided to wait.
I don't see you being able to work with this lifestyle. I am hearing way too many negative and limiting beliefs.

Whether you realize it or not- People can evolve mentally and emotionally and they do that all the time.

It's just a matter of believing that it is possible, believing that it is possible for YOU and wanting it. These are the things that need to be worked on first.

All the best for you and your wife!
The key to life is in being fully engaged and peacefully detached simultaneously and authentically in each moment.
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